Following the Trail

Last week I had a rather bizarre ambition - to find and photograph trail riders heading the Houston Rodeo.  Since moving here 6 years ago, I had heard of the trail riders and thought it would be fun for this California girl to see.  When I found one group was in our area, I headed out on my trek.  I lucked out early on and spotted them on the road going the opposite direction.  I anticipated their route and waited in a parking lot. Nothing.  I decided to head home only to see the motorcycle officers that led the group near our neighborhood.  Once again, I anticipated their trail and waited. Nothing. That's when I decided to just head home and maybe check the Internet to see if they had their route posted. Sure enough there it was! This time I drove to a park I "knew" they would go past. There I was with camera in hand, just me and a maintenance worker their to clean the bathrooms.  Not only did they go past me, the came in right behind me as they gathered in the parking lot for a rest stop.  Mission accomplished.

It reminded me of how these tendencies are seen in my walk with God.  I see a situation and anticipate where He is going, run ahead in anticipation and "camp out" waiting. Often disappointment comes when He doesn't show up on my schedule.  It is the realization and understanding that God is the leader of the "trail rider"; He knows where He is going and my responsibility is to seek, follow and read the instruction He has left for me in His Word.  While finding trail riders is fun, I know that seeking after what God desires is going to be so much more fulfillling!

".....for the Lord searches every heart and understands every motive behind the thoughts.  If you seek him, he will be found by you."  1 Chronicles 28:96

Wadding up the List

When it comes to trusting God it is sometimes quite the quandary.  It sounds so simple "trust in God". And so I sit trusting in God, all the while jotting notes on "my" list of how He is going to respond to whatever trust issue I seem to be having that day.  It's a very nice list, neatly written, thoughtful, insightful, creative - I have considered all the ways God will prevail in my circumstance.  I even have a wonderful timeline and order in which things need to happen.  I say I am trusting in God and sit happily by with pencil poised, ready to begin checking off the list.

The only problem is - God doesn't need my list.  I find that often I am trusting and finding comfort more in my list, than in God - who can do and  is capable of doing all!  More often than not, my list is the source of doubt, and discouragement.  My list, whether on paper or in my mind, limits the very being of God and the very essence of what He may be trying to accomplish in my circumstances.  If I refer to my notes, I scrawl out what I perceive to be God's purpose - but that can be so far from the facts!

Two verses drive that home that "ironically" I was led to read recently.
   "Who ever trust in his riches will fall, but the righteous will thrive like green grass" Proverbs 11:28
   "He who trusts in himself is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom is kept safe." Proverbs 28:26

As I wad up my list, I am left with more questions than I started with.  I guess that's where I need to trust God for the answers with no paper or pencils in sight.

Bring it On

What is the value of trust if there is nothing at stake? What trust is needed when things are going well and there is no risk?
"jump over this puddle, trust me you can do it" very little trust needed and a no brainer
"jump over this canyon, trust me you can do it" - that is the true test and may leave you curled up in a ball at the canyon's edge wanting to cry.

But God continues to whisper "trust me".

Today I hit a theoretical canyon the details of which I do not chose to divulge (and no it is not anything life threatening if your mind leaps there).  If my initial response was a test, I failed miserably. My mind raced with solutions "I could do" or just retreat in defeat and yet God whispers "trust me". 

The verses I landed on today were in Psalms 32:10 "Many are the woes of the wicked, but the Lord's unfailing love surrounds the man who trusts in him."  I  have to admit my first thought was "Lord I need more than love" but then I realized the vastness that God's love is for me - it means He understands my fragile emotions (He created me after all) and He continues to consistently say "trust me".

Reading the entire Psalm brings even more perspective:
"You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance."
and what are those songs?
"I will instruct you and teach you in the way you should go. I will counsel you and watch over you."

And so as I pick myself up from the canyon's edge,  I can't help but remember a rather obscure movie reference from "The Emperor's New Groove" (odd I know). At one point the llama (I said it was odd) was being pursued by a pack of wolves to the edge of cliff.  A  friend swinging from a vine saves him just in time. Hooray. Then the vine snaps and they careen off the mountain........ only to have the vine catch on a branch.  Safe again.  The branch breaks and they fall again but land safely in the river. Then they hear a sound.
"Raging waterfall?"
"yep"
"Jagged rocks below?"
"no doubt"
"Bring it on"

Trust is realizing you are helpless and can't imagine how the feat will be accomplished.  Bring it on.

"Recalculating"

A while back we purchased a GPS navigation system for our van.  Since I am a Realtor, I have come to realize that it is important to know where you are going.  For some reason clients expect this - and getting lost is not an option - not to mention embarrassing. We fondly refer to our GPS as "the lady" and have even added a British accent to her so we feel very international.

Since acquiring "the lady", there has been an additional battle of the wills as I drive.  On more than one occasion  I have doubted her abilities to take me on the quickest route.  Having driven certain routes frequently, I feel I know better than her and her fancy satellite as to which is the best and quickest way.  More than a few times I have decided to go my own way, only to send her on a "recalculating" frenzy.  Unfortunately, this has often led me to sit in traffic.  Apparently, the magic of the GPS knew this and was trying to steer me away from the aggravation.  It all comes down to how much trust I have in "the lady".

As with many everyday things, I find a spiritual message within it.  My attitude of "I know best" isn't limited to driving.  In my own spiritual walk I question where God is leading, since foolishly I feel  I know better.  When the path seems to be taking a turn to somewhere that wasn't in my imagined plan, or seem the quickest route, I begin to doubt and question.  Sometimes I even go down that path, but God never "recalculates"  He is always consistent in showing the way to go. Once we arrive at His destination for me, the route was always worth it!

"Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."  Proverbs 3:5,6

Trust me

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God., trust also in me"  John 14:1

When our kids were growing up we learned that if you spilled the beans about an upcoming trip or activity, you would regret it.  The excitement and anticipation was almost too much for them as they would bounce off the walls having no concept of time or logistics. The disappointment if we had to cancel was crushing with lots of whining; and pity the child who's illness caused the cancellation.  We developed a strategy to wait until the very last moment.  We would gather them and tell them they needed to get ready and how they should dress. "where are we going?"  "Trust me" was our response. Only until we were all in the car would we divulge our destination. Any questions were answered simply with "trust me".  Soon just the phrase "trust me" would invigorate them to get ready quickly, they knew something great was in store for them.

As I read the above passage, my mind jumped back to those days when we told our kids "trust me".  If our kids could trust us, certainly I can trust God when He says the same.  The verse gives us a barometer to check to see if we are really trusting "Do not let your hearts be troubled."  Are you worried, anxious, troubled, fretting? "Trust in God".  It sounds so simple, and yet we struggle with it so much.

Other questions come to mind....if I'm not trusting God who am I placing my trust in? Myself, my spouse, my kids, my job, the economy?  The only one who is unchangeable is God, He can be trusted. Who knows what adventure He has in store for us!

Driving lessons with God

I am a journaler.  It is my way of sharing with God my thoughts, questions and prayers.  It is frequently in those times I am listening for a word from God - this year He gave me an actual word "trust".  If you'd read my past journal entries (which I am not going to share here) you would see that this is a recurrent theme. Trusting God to the things He has promised.  You would think by now I would have learned those lessons - so to ingrain them I am spending some of my time with God specifically learning about trust.

"In repentance and rest is you salvation, in quietness and trust is your strength." Isaiah 30:15

Just a few short lines but so powerful.  Repentance and rest - to examine my life and through the power of the Spirit repent - confess that I've blown it and  began a new path.  It is when my conscience is clear that I find rest.  It is when I am confident that God will do what He says that gives me rest - I don't need to pre-think/over examine/stress or worry.  I can rest knowing that God is God.

"Quietness and trust is your strength"  as I pondered the meaning of this statement a visual came to mind.  Remembering what it was like to teach my kids to drive.  When we first hit the road I would verbalize all potential hazards, things for them to be aware of, reminders of lessons taught.  I would find myself gripping the armrest "just in case".  As I grew more confident in their driving and trusted their abilities I relaxed. I could enjoy the ride engaging in conversation knowing that we would arrive at our destination safely.

Sometimes I think I flash back to that "instructor" mode with God! I point out things to Him "don't you see that!"  At times I find myself stepping on an imaginary brake or wanting to grab the wheel.  It all comes down to trust.  If I truly trust God, I can rest quietly conversing with Him knowing that even though it seems to me He has taken a wrong turn, is going too fast, or too slow I have the confidence that we will arrive at the correct destination.

What's Your Spritual BMI?

"Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." 1 Peter 1:2,3

This verse came to mind in a discussion with a friend of mine the other day. While my being around new born babies days are almost 18 years behind me, I do remember that NOTHING would satisfy a hungry baby but milk. No amount of walking, bouncing, or substitute would do - it had to be the real deal or they let you know.

Our conversation also made reflect on an article I had written for some gals I was discipling a LONG time ago. It was so long ago we called it "discipleship:" and not mentoring and even so long ago my page was typed is probably on a floppy disc somewhere. So I dug through my files and am reprinting it for what it is worth.

Spiritual Nutrition

The Bible talks about the Word of God as spiritual food. If we look at this example, and pull similarities from nutrition and physical health to relate it to reading/studying/feeding on the Word and spiritual health we can gain some new truths and insights. As you read these examples, evaluate where you are. Are you spiritually fit? Are you eating properly?

MALNOURISHED
Eats very little or nothing at all. What is consumed may or may not be what is needed for proper nutrition.
Results: Little or no appetite. What is consumed is not digest well at first. Lack of energy. Highly susceptible to disease. May effect judgment and mental functions.

OBESE
Intake of food unbalanced. Has little or no exercise. Tends to snack as opposed to eating balanced consistent meals.
Results: Overweight. Lack of energy and prone to apathy. Moderately susceptible to disease. Easily tired. Excessive weight puts strain on the body.

IN SHAPE
Eats regular and balanced meals. Exercises regularly
Results: Good energy level. Healthy appearance. If illness attacks, recovers quickly. Alert.

ANOREXIC
Sees self as overweight. Eats very little in comparison to activity or exercise. Feels motivation to do more to burn up calories rather than eat.
Results: Highly susceptible to disease. See malnourished. Could have severe results unless treated. May appear thin and "in shape" to others initially

BULIMIC
Does not eat in a balanced regular manner. Has a tendency to binge eat in large quantities. What is eaten is purged and no nutrition to the body results.
Results: See malnourished. Susceptible to disease. Could have severe results unless treated.

The above is more of clinical analysis of eating (from a lay persons perspective), but on closer observation it can be seen how we duplicate this in the spiritual realm. We can "snack" on things we like to hear in the Bible. Reading and rereading the same passages, or just not digging in to what God really wants to say. To "snack" takes little time, effort or thought.

Our spiritual exercise can be seen as serving God. Doing the work of the gospel .... ministry. Listening to God and his Word and "doing what it says" (James 1:22) However, without proper feeding on the Word of God we can be brought to disastrous results.

To be spiritually bulimic can be visualized in my mind as taking in the Word through our own personal times in the Word or hearing it spoken. Instead of letting it provide nourishment in our souls, we tend to purge it right back out again on others. (not a pretty visual). If we feel a real lack of nourishment, instead of gaining a healthy pattern we tend to binge out....grasping everywhere, and anywhere for the Word.

As in our physical bodies we can carry on quite well for awhile. Our lack of nutrition, or spiritual fitness, may not be evident to others. The disease in our spiritual life may come in many forms.....doubts, struggles, discouragements, attacks from Satan. How these effect us and how quickly we can respond comes from how fit we are. Ephesians 6:17 tells us to take "the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God." It is a weapon for our defense. As our physical bodies need a balance or rest, nutrition and exercise, so does our spiritual body. I remember a speaker sharing to envision our lives as a cup. The Holy Spirit is to fill us up. When the struggles come along and bump us full of God people splash. Those who are filling themselves with something else complain.

So what shape are you in? What is your spiritual BMI? No quick fixes here - it takes time and discipline.....but it is worth it!