As I was in the store today I had an epiphany about myself. I don't like asking for help. I came into the bookstore, looking for a particular book. I gave a friendly "hi" to the salesperson who greeted me - but revealed nothing of my quest to her. Nope, I took it upon my self to find my book myself. And so I strolled and browsed and meandered and looked and eventually left - without the book. "they probably just don't carry it, I'll check Amazon at home" was my self-talk. What is wrong with me?
I don't think I am alone in this "I can do it myself" attitude. Am I? People like me must be a frustration to Customer Service Representatives who by nature want to serve the customer.....or do they? Maybe they are just pretending to be friendly and will be irritated by my petty requests. Perhaps it comes from times when I have asked where something was in a store only to have it pointed out directly in front of my nose. Who needs that embarrassment? Perhaps my "I can find it myself" attitude comes from an underlying suspicion of those seeking to help. Maybe I am spending too much time over thinking this!
When you get past all the excuses - I think it really comes down to an issue of pride. How often do I blow off offers of help because "I can do it just fine thank you" (or even better). Don't get me wrong, I have gotten better about it over the years - when I had our twins my doctor literally told me "you need to accept help when its offered". This was harder to do than I imagined, but I realized the wisdom in those words.
By not asking for or seeking help when I need it, I miss out on a connection - perhaps even one God has placed. I rob someone of the opportunity to serve. He is our help - but God uses people as his hands.
Maybe I should go back to the bookstore.
Psalm 121:1-3 "I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber"
