Hi It's Me

This has been a week of the unexpected. As I write this I am sitting and watching it snow.....in Houston....on December 4th. The earliest snowfall in Houston's history I am told. For a San Diego girl like me it is still nothing short of a white miracle. The quiet of the snow falling brings a sense of warmth and a reflective mood to me today.

As my kids begin dating, I have been thinking back to when Robert and I first met. Meeting his parents and being introduced as his "friend" probably until we were engaged. His mom has always been "Pat" to me, never a hesitation. My relationship with his dad was a little more awkward - at least when it came to names - I don't know why.

After we were married and I would call his parent's house, I would announce "this is Karen calling" whenever his dad answered. If he called us and I answered he always would "hi, Karen it's me". I would reply "hi me". I always knew who "me" was.

As the years passed I slowly began calling him John and he would identify himself as same. John soon became "Grandpa John" and I got to witness him in a new role - that as grandfather. We would smile each time they would come to take the kids out to dinner or for an outing announcing to the kids before they'd head out the door "did you bring your money?". It was obvious to all that family and faith were the priorities in his life. He and Pat would always have flannel graph story presented every Christmas - it was a great tradition that spoke the priority of Christ's birth. It would always end with him reading from the book of Luke and a birthday cake to Jesus.

The snow was not the first unexpected thing to arrive this week. The phone call Thursday morning that John had passed away was the first. Though he has been battling Alzheimer's for years and we knew the day was coming soon - it still seemed too soon. I heard that my niece prayed Thursday that "Grandpa would have a great day". Little did we know that he would have his very best day of all - relieved of suffering and with his saviour.

Earlier this week we had celebrated the first Sunday of Advent. Our daughter reminded us the message was of comfort. Obviously God knew we would need this reminder this week.

John is now surrounded by the joy of being with those who have gone before and we have the assurance we will see him again. I imagine one day when God calls me there will be someone approach and say "hi it's me".

Romans 8:17-18 "Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory. I consider that our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us."

2 Corinthians 1:3-4 "Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God."

Coincidence?

I'm not sure if God speaks to us about such things as flu shots - but today I think He did!

As an Asthmatic, I have to admit I have been a little anxious about the Swine Flu. This past summer we all contracted a virus that resulted in pneumonia for me that wasn't even the flu! How in the world would I respond to the Swine Flu?

I determined that I would get the vaccine early on, however there was a problem......no vaccine was to be had. My doctor's office even posted it on their website "no H1N1 vaccine". So I have made it my practice to check the site and call on occasion and, in the meantime, practice all those health tips they tell you to avoid getting sick.

Today I checked their site again to no avail, but the thought kept coming "you need to call". So I did and they just received their doses about a half hour before I called! Coincidence? I think not - so I am getting my shot tomorrow morning and I'm thinking maybe God is involved in flu shots.

Asking for Help

As I was in the store today I had an epiphany about myself. I don't like asking for help. I came into the bookstore, looking for a particular book. I gave a friendly "hi" to the salesperson who greeted me - but revealed nothing of my quest to her. Nope, I took it upon my self to find my book myself. And so I strolled and browsed and meandered and looked and eventually left - without the book. "they probably just don't carry it, I'll check Amazon at home" was my self-talk. What is wrong with me?

I don't think I am alone in this "I can do it myself" attitude. Am I? People like me must be a frustration to Customer Service Representatives who by nature want to serve the customer.....or do they? Maybe they are just pretending to be friendly and will be irritated by my petty requests. Perhaps it comes from times when I have asked where something was in a store only to have it pointed out directly in front of my nose. Who needs that embarrassment? Perhaps my "I can find it myself" attitude comes from an underlying suspicion of those seeking to help. Maybe I am spending too much time over thinking this!

When you get past all the excuses - I think it really comes down to an issue of pride. How often do I blow off offers of help because "I can do it just fine thank you" (or even better). Don't get me wrong, I have gotten better about it over the years - when I had our twins my doctor literally told me "you need to accept help when its offered". This was harder to do than I imagined, but I realized the wisdom in those words.

By not asking for or seeking help when I need it, I miss out on a connection - perhaps even one God has placed. I rob someone of the opportunity to serve. He is our help - but God uses people as his hands.

Maybe I should go back to the bookstore.

Psalm 121:1-3 "I lift up my eyes to the hills - where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, the maker of heaven and earth. He will not let your foot slip - he who watches over you will not slumber"

The Black Hole in Homes

The idea of a black hole or mysterious vacuum in the home is not new. We all wonder where the matching sock is and how it if two went into the washer how come only one comes out of the dryer - I mean really, where is it?

I have a new item that seems to disappear yearly - rulers. Ever since my kids started school, we would make our annual trek to the store to stock up on school supplies. Each year I would buy a ruler. Somewhere, somehow these disappear into oblivion.

"Mom, I need a ruler for school"

"I bought you one last year, where is it?"

"I don't know"

By my calculations I have had this exact conversation every September for 11 years. I should have bought them in bulk when they were in first grade and rationed them out. A nice thought, but in reality I know they too would be sucked into the black hole. "Where's that box of rulers?"

Perks

A perk, I am finding, of having children work in and around NASA is the cool stuff I have access to. Via Kristal I have a NASA t-shirt celebrating its 50 years (the fact that it was around my 50th birthday last year made it especially sweet). We also have some stickers from Space Shuttle missions that go up.

The coolest item now in our possession, (courtesy of Stephanie) is a photo of the crew from the latest shuttle mission....complete with autographs! Many offices I go into around Clear Lake have photos of astronauts on their walls. So excited to have a photo in my office now too!

Paying Attention

In light of my previous post, this is almost comical.

My daughter offered to make dessert - when anyone offers dessert AND wants to make it, I am all for it! I showed her the box which contained all the ingredients and she read the directions; I went off to do the myriad of things on my to-do list. I couldn't wait to eat the lemon bars.

After a short while, she emerged from the kitchen with a package in hand.

"Is this the crust?"

I look up briefly from my work, quickly examined the package and confirmed that it was the crust. Off she went and I went back to what I was doing.

"This doesn't look right!"

Came the next comment from the kitchen. The lemon bars came out of the oven and indeed didn't look quite right. I decided to taste it. Okay it REALLY didn't taste right! Then it occurred to me....

"when you mixed the topping did it smell really lemony?"

"no"

In my inattention I gave her the wrong advice. I assumed the package was the crust - it was not. Our lemon bars were made upside down with backwards instructions. The results were awful!

Fortunately, it was only lemon bars. It made me realize that when my kids ask me a question I need to focus on what they are saying, understand what they are asking, and pay attention to the details so I can give an informed and accurate response.

Following Directions

The directions seemed easy enough "Fragile Handle with Care". Judging by the gouges, tears and dents in the box it was quite obvious someone didn't take the time to read. Judging by the broken pieces inside, it was obvious this was ignored by a number of people. It's too bad they didn't write it in bold red letters......oh wait they did! Such was/and is the saga of my office furniture.

During this incident I was reminded of a poster we used to have hung in our middle school room many years ago from a verse in James "Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says." Directions mean nothing if you don't do it. Our boxes (yes boxes) are a visual reminder that not "doing what it says" can lead to destruction.

40 Years Ago

It was forty years ago this week that man first walked on the moon. It doesn't seem that long ago that I sat and watched this event on TV. Now I don't remember much that happened forty years ago, but I remember this event. It is exciting for me to realize that now, living in Houston, I actually know an astronaut personally. For some reason the idea of space exploration and astronauts fascinated me as a child. I still have the newspaper articles I saved about different trips to the moon. I also remember a regrettable decision I made around that time.

The idea of astronauts intrigued. I discovered that some had been Air Force pilots, so when I got my hands on an Air Force recruiting brochure one day I didn't give it any thought to fill it out. The regret came as soon as I dropped it in the mail. I remember riding my bike back and forth in the path of the mailbox, staring at it, almost hoping it would magically shoot back out knowing my mistake. I finally confessed it to my parents who assured me the Air Force would not recruit a ten year old. It was then I made the other confession - I lied about my age on the application. More angst. Another trip to the mailbox.

I'm not sure when I stopped worrying that the Air Force would force me to my commitment, or arrest me for falsifying a document. But I did. Now it is a fond memory of a more innocent time.

Stories from the Orthodontics Waiting Room

I experience such a unique segment of life in the orthodontist's waiting room. Normally, it is a odd conversations I overhear. This visit brought something totally unexpected.

Upon arriving we heard an odd sound and peculiar looks on the other client's faces. It was then we noticed a woman sleeping. Not just sleeping - laying sprawled on the waiting room couch. Not just sleeping and stretched across the couch, but snoring. Snoring loudly! Even the sound of her cell phone going off didn't rouse her.

I found myself torn between wondering what this poor woman's life must be like that she was so exhausted she would fall asleep in a waiting room (though I knew the waits sometimes seemed like an eternity) and wanting to video her with my phone and post it on youtube.

I then hoped that whoever she was waiting for would be compassionate. The tables turned, I am pretty confident my kids would just walk out and pretend they didn't know me.

The whole experience made me yearn for the days when it was just having someone talk on their cell phone.

Anti-climatic

I have to admit that a secret (until now) ambition of mine is to write and be published. I enjoy writing, though I don't remember enjoying it so much when I was in school. Perhaps it is the receiving of a grade that sucks the fun out of writing at a young age. However, as an adult I have enjoyed writing - thoughts, ideas, journalings, curriculums, talks - I have found great satisfaction in the written word and what I learn about myself and life and as write.

It was well over a year ago, I was invited along with many hundreds of women to submit a brief devotional about mother's and daughters. I sent in two submissions, laboriously editing and re-editing to bring it in within their small word number requirement. It was then I realized I love to elaborate - but this could not be the case. I sent and waited, and waited, and waited and waited to hear. Nothing. This was the agreement, you hear only if you are chosen. The deadline passed. I moved on.

In December, I received a call stating my submission was accepted! The book would come out in March. The submission they chose was not my favorite (why didn't they like that one?), but I was now going to be published and paid - only twenty dollars - but paid none the less!

On receipt of my complimentary copy of the book, I hurriedly looked at the index and found my name! I went to the page number and came face to face what writers throughout the ages experience - editing. My first sentence - tossed. Words changed. The last sentence, not even mine. It was all a little anti-climatic. So much so, it has taken me over a month to even let people know the book existed. I understand the purpose of editing, clarity, continuity etc. It is a humbling experience to know that my labor intensive self-editing was not enough. I felt like I received a letter grade with lots of red marks.

And yet, that is what life is like. We look at ourselves and our achievements and don't see the flaws, errors or improvements we need. Maybe I need to invite more editing into my life.

Hmmmmmmm

Hmmmmmmm blogs are suppose to be (or at least my blog is suppose to be) random thought, ideas and epiphanies that are posted on a semi-regular and frequent basis. I mean who wants to keep checking back at a blog and see that it never changes? So I therefore confess I have broken that cardinal rule and hope to change it.

So here is a my blog about nothing, but to apologize to those who maybe have been checking it only to still see a posting in March! So sorry - I shall try to do better.

FYI - it is gorgeous outside today in Houston mark it on the calendar!

The Mystery Tour

Spring Break is now over for us and appropriately the beautiful sunshine we experienced all week is giving way to clouds and wind. A good day to sit inside and catch up.

During Spring Break our kids participated in a "Mystery Tour" with our church youth group. They signed up, packed and prepared for a trip to ?????? They had no idea where they were going! Friends would ask what are you doing on Spring Break. They would respond "I don't know" because they didn't know. So at 6:30 a.m., last Wednesday, they boarded vans on faith that this "Mystery Tour" would be worth it. They trusted us as we instructed them what to pack and how much money to bring; they began the journey not knowing where they would end up. The destination revelation, after MANY hours of driving, was Disney World!

I couldn't help but realize that this trip was not only a true adventure at the "Happiest Place on Earth", but it was also an exercise in stepping out in faith. They had to trust their youth leader that the destination would be worth it. They had to trust us that we adequately prepared them in what to bring. The only way they could experience the fullness of the mystery was to board the van and commit.

It is in that thought, that I realize that God has laid before us a great "mystery tour" in life. We often don't know where we are headed, but we must trust the one who has prepared the way for us and tells us that it is worth it. We can't experience it, unless we commit. It can be scary, nerve wracking and sometimes the journey feels like it will never end, but when we arrive at the place God desires for us we realize it was worth it all!

Lost in Translation

Though now living in Houston, I come from San Diego a beautiful place to live. During my years in San Diego, there seemed to always be a controversy about two crosses. One in La Mesa on the top of Mount Helix; the other on Mount Soledad (standing 29 feet high). Both crosses were erected as memorials to lives lost (a beloved mother and Korean War Veterans). Both had been there as long as I could remember, and as long as I can remember there was always a law suit from someone who stated that they were offended by these crosses - I never saw them as offensive, I saw them as memorials and part of the history of our city. Though a Christ follower, I never attributed a great spiritual significance to them, I don't know why.

So it is odd to me to have had the reaction I did to a site here in Houston. As we were driving to Costco the other day, we passed a church that had erected the largest cross I had ever seen in my life right off the freeway. According to their website it is 170 feet high and is to be a symbol of hope to those who pass it. A very noble intention indeed. However I was not struck with a sense of hope, or anything spiritual; my response was a feeling of shock, visual blight, and excess.
In this time of economic downturn, where families are losing their homes and their jobs; in this time in the world when families live with no drinkable water, where there are hungry children, people dying from preventable diseases or AIDS; in this time when those living not far from the shadows of this cross are living in less than desirable conditions, have lost their homes or had them damaged by hurricane, or just struggling to get by - It seems to me to not be a message of hope - but a message of excess.

I don't get it. It troubles me to think of how that money could have quietly and tangibly spread the message hope. Isn't the message of hope to be spread in personal ways? I don't remember Jesus or the disciples erecting monuments of great enormity to spread the message. If the message is to be "Hey look at us and what a huge cross we put up", the message is clear. If it is a message of hope, I think it got lost in translation.

But that's my opinion.

Something to smile about

Blogs by nature are suppose to be updated frequently. Such has NOT been my case recently. My life has been filled with a variety of activities, none of which connect - demanding extra brain cells to keep track of everything. And so enters my age of using Outlook. The task manager has become my friend....or better put, my brain. If I remember something I need to do - I post it as a task thus removing my need to "remember" everything in my brain.

So today as I cross off "update blog", it brought a smile to my face and I began to think of other odd things that have brought a smile in the past few days.

• Leaves falling from a tree so late in the season. Their dance down to earth is a moment to smile and pause.
• A butterfly scurrying aimlessly around my backyard
• Our dog - every morning when he wakes up with more energy and excitement than should be allowed at 6 a.m.
• A packed and overflowing room of couples wanting to a "Couple Checkup" to help their relationship
• A sunny day that is brisk and has no humidity
• The sound of the school bus bringing my kids home
• A suitcase - signifying a trip with my daughter to San Diego to help plan a wedding (another thing to smile about)

It seems to me the news and state of things seems to be causing an exorbitant amount of tension and worry. Maybe we need to take more time to reflect and smile.

What makes you smile?

Going Outside

Since the holidays, I have found myself inside more often than I would like. A rather odd winter has helped attribute itself to this fact. Days that are too cold, days that are dreary and damp, days that are warm and humid (the curse of living in the south). My days have been filled with tasks that were by nature indoors, in the car, or on the computer.

Then today I looked up from my screen and saw it was a beautiful day. I ventured out to find that there wasn't even humidity! And so I went outside, doing some chores (why can I never just sit and enjoy?), walked the dog, and marveled at what a beautiful day I almost missed. I wonder how many other things I miss because I fail to just look up.

So I encourage anyone who is reading this - lift up your head and look up from the screen - look outside - step outside - and if its nice, go for a walk.

Psalm 3:3

But you, O Lord, are a shield around me; you are my glory, the one who holds my head high.